Sometimes I get stuck in my little corner of my mind when I am sitting around at starbucks just working on music and such and when I am lucky I spot someone all alone glancing around with the same look on their face...I know the look.  The look of dissatisfaction at the bullshit that has come their way and the fact that a dream has been put on hold, or that dream is so tough to work on.  I sometimes wonder if that person is thinking the same about me, or if they notice.  I am good about not looking like I am paying attention, but I am always noticing detail.  Today I noticed someone sitting all along, gorgeous and with style looking around as if waiting for something or someone to show.  I kind of observed but didn't do a whole lot studying until she got up and began walking out the door.  Sometimes I would just like to grab fear by the arms and snap it's wrists in two just like the time fearlessness broke both of my wrists on a swing-set.  Even though fear doesn't deserve such treatment, I would still like to do so out of desire to break out of myself.  It was at that point of her walking out the door that I desired love again.  Not the bullshit love I have been having, or had, but the kind where two mature people love each other and support each other and bring out the best in each other.  I don't have to rely on anyone anymore, but just the whole love thing is eating at me again.  I want to feel that thing again and in turn really care about someone other than myself.  As she left I became scared for some reason.  I think she looked so perfect to me that when she left I thought to myself, more than likely opportunity will come and go and I will never go after it as long as I am who I am as far as me being quiet natured.  All of these things which I desire, happen in the movies.