Been mowing yards here lately and cleaning up after heavy storms that seemed to have excited me more than it should have.  I mean I know I live a boring life when I go outside in a potential tornado to feel the 60 mph wind blow upon me with such force of almost pushing me over.  It was fun though until trees started bending to the ground like an aftershock of a nuclear bomb.  I can't seem to allow myself any time for creative work here lately because of a debt I have acquired.  Seems ironic too because I have bought things for creative purposes and I am spending no time working with those tools.  I guess that's how it goes for a while though until a settle in finances.  One other thing that has been on my mind here lately, mainly because people gardening my mind, but it's a thing of religion again.  It's fun to let people know how I feel about it and it's fun to know how they feel but I guess there is a certain point where both have to realize we are who we are and that is basically all.  Belief and non-belief are a funny thing I don't know why but it's like the world revolves around the whole idea that might or might not be.  With the accumulation of all society has made itself to be throughout thousands of years, I cannot help but picture some sort of flaw along the way.  It is in me now to picture some sort of flaw anytime I try to believe.  Something in me just won't let me believe, but that same thing in me is now me and I do not want to believe anymore.  I haven't believed but what I am saying is I most likely will never come to believe in the same thing I once believed in.  It would be anything but right to go back to the way things were.  and that is how I feel right now, minus much thought.