Here is my little space for my little poetic outbursts. All are simple, but to the point for the most part. All of these are personal accounts for the record and in no way a reflection of any academic or traditional work, just a free form of expression that helped me get through periods of self doubt/religious fall outs/sexual failure/depression/friendship misunderstandings/friendship identity issues/relationship troubles/brief relationship successes. Also, I went through periods of elation and extreme hopefulness. These are organized from past to present, so unlike the traditional blogger organizational standards, these will read opposite of what you see on my home page. The spaces in between are done on purpose. Each of the spaces represent a day. They represent the time and space of unspoken/building feelings in between times of spoken feelings in the form of what you see. There is always a lingering process for everything, until we finally reach a point of expression. Enjoy.
Note: The poems that are dated in blogger style are ones that I wrote specifically on blogger and not in my personal journal, with the exception of a few that I wrote first in my journal then transfered to blogger. The ones that are dated (ex.1/26/2009) were very personal poems that I made specifically for my journal. Also, you may be wondering why the fades are different. The beginning is a time of unclear vision of who I thought I was at the time. The darker, bolder text near the end signifies my understanding of who I think I am now. Time fades. So do memories of who we used to be. Live now, it's the only way to be happy.
1/26/2009
BESIDE THE CACTUS I WAIT, LIKE A ROSE WAITING FOR WATER,
ONLY THE RAIN HAS YET TO COME IN MY BARREN STATE.
I'M PARCHED WITH EMPTINESS,
HOPING TOMORROW WILL BRING PLENTIFUL RAINS.
I WAIT FOR THE SUN TO RISE AGAIN,
TAKING FOR GRANTED I WILL LIVE ANOTHER DAY.
I PLAN MY SCHEDULE WEEKS IN ADVANCE,
DON'T I HAVE ENOUGH FOR A DAY TO HANDLE?
I HAVE SEEN THE WATER BEFORE SLIDE DOWN THE ROSE PETALS.
WHY CAN'T I BE LIKE THE ROSE, BEAUTIFULLY WAITING,
DRINKING HUMBLY, LEAVING THE REST FOR THE GROUND?
WHY IS IT WHEN I IMITATE THE ROSE, I FAIL?
GOD PUTS US HERE TO FULFILL HIS PLAN,
HE GIVES US THE TOOLS WE NEED TO ACCOMPLISH IT
WHAT, THEN I ASK, IS THE ROSE'S PURPOSE;
DOES IT NOT HAVE A PLAN LIKE THE REST OF US?
SITTING ON A SIDEWALK, I PICKED UP A ROSE.
IT WAS PARCHED, SO I GAVE IT WATER
I HANDED IT TO A LADY; DOES THE ROSE HAVE A PURPOSE NOW?
NEW LIFE BEGINS BY OPENING THE CACTUS AND DRINKING ITS LIFE
SPRING IS HERE AGAIN!
1/1/10
"MOON"
TODAY SEEMS LIKE THE LAST
WINTER BRINGING IN THE COLD AIR
AIR TOUCHES MY FACE
WITH MOON TUCKED BENEATH
THE CLOUDS OF A COLD PIT
OF OPEN SKY
PITS OF NOTHING
OR SOMETHING
I’VE GOT TO DIVE IN HEADFIRST
TO SEE
I MUST SEE FOR MYSELF
NO YOU CAN’T TELL ME
I MUST KNOW FOR MYSELF
OR I WILL NEVER BELIEVE
THE MOON SHINES SO I CAN SEE
SEE INTO THE PIT, THERE MUST BE SOMETHING
FOR THE MOON TO BE SO GENEROUS
AND WILLING TO SHOW THE WAY AND GUIDE
THERE ARE IMPOSTURES IN THIS WORLD
TELEVISION AMONG THESE ARE THE MOST DEADLY
TO THE MIND
THE TELEVISION IS THE REAL CAPTIVITY
TURN YOUR HEAD AND LOOK AT THE MOON
IT’S TRYING TO TELL US SOMETHING
LOOK AT THE SEA
IT’S BEEN AROUND LONGER THAN TELEVISION
THE WISE ARE NOT TO DESPISE
LOOK INTO THE EYES OF THE MOON
WITH EVERYTHING YOU HAVE
TODAY SEEMS LIKE THE LAST DAY
OF THE BULLSHIT IN MY LIFE
TIME TO CLIMB
TO HIGHER GROUND
A NEW DECADE
IS HERE
INSPIRATION: DRIVING DOWN THE ROAD AND SEEING A FULL MOON AT THE END OF THE ROAD IN PERFECT LINE WITH THE ROAD.
1/1/10
"TIME"
TIME SEEMS TO SUGGEST
WHAT’S NEXT IN THIS TEST
SOMETIMES TIME PUTS
IN OUR MIND
A SENSE OF URGENCY
FOR THE NEXT HAPPENING
IN ORDER TO ENJOY TIME
WE MUST SLOWLY
STEP ACROSS THE ICE
BUT NOT LETTING IT CRACK
WE MUST NEVER
SLIDE ACROSS
WITH URGENCY
WE ARE BOUND TO GO UNDER
AND NOT SEE WHAT WAS
ON THE SURFACE
THE ENTIRE TIME WE SPENT
TRYING TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE
THE LIGHT IS PATIENT
BUT IT STILL EXISTS
WATCH TIME
BUT DON’T KEEP YOUR EYE ON IT
OR YOU WILL GO UNDER
BEFORE YOU KNOW IT
INSPIRATION: SLID ACROSS A PATCH OF ICE AT STARBUCKS WITHOUT REALIZING IT WAS THERE. THEN WATCHED OTHERS OBSERVE IT AND STEP ACROSS WITHOUT SLIDING.
1/2/10
"BOXCARS"
SEEING THE WORLD
ONE TRACK AT A TIME
AT EASE WITH COMPLACENCY
GRAFFITI SITS WATCHING
WATCHING FOR RECOGNITION
RECOGNITION OF A LIFE
A LIFE BY CHANCE OF SEEING
INSIGNIFICANT ART
TRAVELING THE WORLD
ONE TRACT AT A TIME
BOXCAR IS PULLED AROUND
AROUND WHILE WAITING
WAITING FOR SOMEONE
SOMEONE TO NOTICE ITS SCARS
I SAW THE SCARS
THE SCARS OF ART
THE ART OF THE BOXCAR
I SAW AN ENTITY
AN ENTITY OF LONELINESS
THAT’S THE THING
AN ENTITY OF ONE WITH TWO
THE ART AND BOXCAR ARE LONELY
BUT THEY ARE LONELY TOGETHER
TWO LIVES ARE CHANGED BY CHANCE
A CHANCE OF SEEING THIS PARTICULAR HAPPENING
A HAPPENING BROUGHT UPON BY REALIZATION
REALIZATION THAT THE TWO ARE ON THE SAME TRACK
GOING TO THE SAME PLACE
SOMEWHERE TOGETHER
TOGETHER MAKING LIFE HAPPEN
LIFE THAT SEEMED SO BARREN BEFORE
NOW THE TWO CAN ENJOY THE COMPANY OF THE OTHER
WHILE INSTEAD OF WAITING TILL THE NEXT STATION
ENJOYING EVERY MOMENT
TOGETHER.
INSPIRATION: DRIVING DOWN THE ROAD, SAW A GROUP OF BOXCARS STOPPED ON THE TRACKS WITH GRAFFITI.
1/3/10
"CREATIVITY"
SPARK OF LIFE
WINDOW OF DREAMS
SITTING IN PALM
READY TO BE UTILIZED
SET FOR EXPLOSION
ITS TIME TO BEGIN
CREATIVITY OCCURS EVERYWHERE
IN THE SKY, THE STARS
EVEN THE SEA
MEANING NOTHING
ONLY A FEELING
UNTIL A MIND OPERATES
THE WHEEL OF THE MIND TURNS
TURNS UNTIL DEATH
A MOMENT PROCESSES
PROCESSES THOUGH THE MIND AND HEART
LEAVING AN INTERPRETATION OF ONE
FOR ONE TO CARRY AND SHARE
COMMUNICATION IS BEAUTIFUL
IS BEAUTY REALLY BEAUTIFUL?
OR IS UGLY REALLY BEAUTIFUL
DON’T ANSWER ME
ANSWER YOURSELF
THINK FOR YOURSELF
A MOMENT IS GOOD
IT ISN’T GREAT WITHOUT TWO
TWO TO SHARE
TWO TO BELIEVE
TWO TO EXIST
AND TWO TO COMMUNICATE
WITH THE WORLD
FEELING OF HOPE
HOPE FOUND INSIDE
PULL OUT YOUR INSIDES
AND SHARE IT WITH THE WORLD
IT NEEDS A LITTLE SHARING
JUST AS WE NEED EACH OTHER
I NEED YOU, I WANT YOU
MORE THAN THE SKY
MORE THAN THE STARS
EVEN MORE THAN THE SEA
INSPIRATION: LOOKED AT AN ARTICLE ON CREATIVITY IN “PSYCHOLOGY TODAY”, AS WELL AS A BOOK ON LOVE SIGNS ASSOCIATED WITH ASTROLOGY, PLUS A BOOK ABOUT DESIGNING YOUR SELF.
1/4/10
"SUN"
SUN DRIPPING COLOR
ON THE HORIZON OF A
BRIGHT ORANGE SKY
NOTHING HOLDING IT BACK
NOTHING TELLING IT TO HURRY
ONLY ITSELF SETTING THE PACE
DRIVING ALONG
WITH BRIGHT ORANGE BALL
BLINDING ME
MAKING ITSELF KNOWN TO THE WORLD
LETTING EVERYONE KNOW
IT’S STILL THERE COUNTING TIME AND DEATH
SUNDAY DRIVERS SPEEDING LONG
WITH SUN AT THE END OF THE ROAD
WHY I ASK ARE THEY IN A HURRY?
DOESN’T LIFE GO BY FAST ENOUGH?
THEY ARE DRIVING TOWARDS THE END
THE END OF AN INEVITABLE DESTINATION
I LET OFF THE GAS
IMAGINING THE SUN
A REPRESENTATION OF DEATH
I WATCH AS EVERYONE DRIVES BY ME
DRIVING BY WITH SUCH VIGOR
AS IF IMMORTALITY EXISTS
AS I WATCH
I THINK
THINK OF LIFE
LIFE THAT SEEMS SO SHORT
I SLOWED DOWN TO OBSERVE
THE CARS FADING AWAY INTO THE SUN
A SUN THAT TURNS INTO DARKNESS
AND JUST AS THERE IS DAY
THERE IS ALSO NIGHT
JUST AS THERE IS LIFE
THERE IS DEATH
SITTING AT THE END OF THE ROAD
INSPIRATION: DRIVING BACK FROM BAM ON A SUNDAY AND SEEING THE SUN IN PERFECT LINE WITH THE ROAD, THINKING HOW OBVIOUS A THING IT WAS AND THOUGHT OF IT AS DEATH SO I SLOWED DOWN TO LET PEOPLE PASS BECAUSE I WANT LIFE TO GO BY SLOW.
1/13/10
"BLANK CANVAS"
LIFE MAKES ONE THING CLEAR
SIT BACK AND TAKE NOTICE
ALL THAT IS ALL TO PEER
WITH SUCH DELIGHT TRY AND FOCUS
THE LIST GOES ON OF THINGS LEFT UNCLEAR
TRYING TO WIPE THE TEARS FROM MY EYES
WHILE OBSERVING THE SKY AS I STEER
RECALLING MY MISERY OF GOODBYES
SUNLIGHT ABSORBED BY THE GREEN GRASS BLADES
AS MY MOWER VIGOROUSLY COVERS SUCH GROUND
WINDOW REFLACTING LIGHT ONTO MY SHADES
I SEE CLEARLY WHAT IS BOUND TO BE FOUND
TAKE THIS TIME OF LONELINESS TO BE
ALL THAT I CAN, ALL THAT I AM
IN SUCH A PRESENCE I NEED TO FLEE
TO A PLACE THAT BRINGS ME PEACE
HOW LONELY MUST I STAY
TODAY IS THE DAY I DECIDE
FOR BEING ALONE HAS NO MAY
ONLY A CRY TO WISH IT AWAY
MY BLANK CANVAS STARTS TODAY
WITH NO ONE TO TELL ME ANY OTHER WAY
MY LIFE'S WORK IS IN MY PALM
READY TO BE THROWN INTO THE UNIVERSE
TODAY IS THE DAY THE SUNS OUT
WITH CLOUDS IN THE SKY POPPING
WHY CAN'T EVERYDAY BE A SUNNY DAY
IT CAN IN MY MIND, IT'S CLEAR
EVERYTHING IS SO CLEAR NOW
TIME TO BEGIN WHAT THE WORLD NEEDS
A SUNNY DAY EVERYDAY
INSPIRATION: ALL THE FUCKED UP THINGS I HAVE GONE THROUGH, I'M SPRING CLEANING.
2/?/10
"COTTON CLEAN"
PUT THE CAR IN DRIVE
WATCH THE CLOUDS FILL THE SKYS
LIKE BLOTS OF COTTON GOD IS GIVING US
TO CLEAN OUT OUR EARS AND LISTEN
I NEVER LISTEN
IF ONLY I COULD REACH UP
AND GRAB THE COTTON CLOUDS
I'D CLEAN OUT MY EARS
I'D PASS THE WORD ALONG
BUT FIRST SHARE MY COTTON
OR THEN AGAIN I'LL GET EXTRA
THERE'S A LOT OF JUNK IN MY EARS
DON'T WANT IT TO GET IN SOMEONE ELSE'S EARS
SO GRAB SOME EXTRA COTTON
AND START CLEANING
THERE'S A LOT OF WAX
SO BRING SOME FOR ALL
INSPIRATION: ALL THE CLOUDS I LOOK AT DURING THE DAY.
2/?/10
"UNTIL I FIND YOU"
IN AND OUT
WHERE DO I BELONG
SOMEWHERE I DO BELIEVE
ANYWHERE FOR NOW
THAT'S FINE WITH ME
AS LONG AS YOU'RE HERE
SUN GOES DOWN
WHERE ARE YOU NOW
IT'S TOO DARK FOR ME TO SEE
I REACH TO TOUCH BUT I FEEL NOTHING
ONLY EMPTY SPACES WHERE YOU SHOULD BE
I GRIP THIN AIR
HOPING YOU WILL SUDDENLY APPEAR
OUT OF NOWHERE
SOMETIMES MY FAITH JUST ISN'T ENOUGH
I MUST FIND YOU
UNTIL I FIND YOU
IF YOUR THERE
INSPIRATION: AUDREY'S EXISTENCE.
2/?/10
"BROKEN GLASS"
WHERE THE HELL AM I
WHO THE HELL AM I
WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU
I CRY THIS OUT TO ANYONE
BUT MYSELF
SO IT SEEMS
I'M ALWAYS FINDING MYSELF
SEEING THE BROKEN GLASS IN MY DREAMS
NEVER REPLACING WHAT IS BROKEN
ONLY LEAVING THE SHARDS TO HANG
WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO COME ALONG
AND GET CUT BY MY IRRESPONSIBILITY
WHAT IRRESPONSIBILITY?
I WONDER IF I JUST NEED TO GET AWAY
FROM MYSELF SOMETIMES
IF ONLY I BELIEVE I HAVE A PROBLEM
IF ONLY I KNEW MY PROBLEM
I WOULD FIX IT
THAT WAY NO ONE WOULD GET CUT
MAYBE ONLY IN MY DREAMS
SOMEONE PLEASE TAKE ME AWAY FROM
MY MIND FOR A WHILE
BEFORE I CUT MYSELF ON MY OWN GLASS
INSPIRATION: DREAMED JANE'S ADDICTION WAS PLAYING AT UNIVERSAL STUDIOS. I KEPT GOING DOWN A FLIGHT OF STAIRS TO GET TO THE MAIN STREET THEY WERE ON, NEVER COULD GET TO THE BOTTOM, THEN REALIZED THEY WERE STARTING, SO I BUSTED A WINDOW WITH GLASS GOING EVERYWHERE AND STOOD RIGHT IN FRONT OF ERIC AVERY THEN MY CHACO STRAP BROKE.
2/?/10
"BEACH TOWN"
THE CITY IS BEAUTIFUL TODAY
BIRDS AFLIGHT MOUNTAINS IN SIGHT
LIGHTS AT NIGHT, FORGET THE PLIGHT
THE PALE BLUE SHADE OF DEEP SPACE
LIES ACROSS THE MOUNTAIN LIKE A BLANKET
COVERING A GIANT AT REST, A LAZY
GIANT AT THAT
THE SUN HITS THE PEAK OF EVERY
ROLLING HILL LEAVING SHADOW'S
UNDER ITS KNOB
THE SKY IS BLUE WITH POPPING COTTON
FILLING THE SKY'S OPEN SPACE
I'D LIKE TO REST LIKE THAT GIANT
IF I COULD HOP ONTO MY COTTON CLOUD
IN THE VASTNESS OF THE DAY TO DAY PACE
WHILE THE COTTON DIPPED PEAKS OF SNOW
DWINDLE WITH THE FADE OF LIGHT I
ENJOY A SHOW ON DATIME TELEVISION
THIS IS MY CRY
TURN FROM THE TV, GRAB YOUR GIRL
TURN TO THE SKY
NEVER LETTING THESE DAYS PASS YOU BY
INSPIRATION: A COLD DAY BUT WITH THE SUN AND CLOUDS IN SKY BRIGHT BLUE. SALT ON STREETS MADE THE ROADS LOOK SANDY.
SUNDAY, APRIL 16, 2010
TURN THE CORNER
I SEE YOU THERE
NOT ANOTHER FAKE
NO YOUR THE REAL THING
I SIT IN THE BACK WHILE YOU DRIVE
DRIVE US SOMEWHERE BUT WHO KNOWS WHERE
I ONLY KNOW IT DOESN'T MATTER
AS LONG AS YOU ARE THERE
I CANT HELP BUT NOTICE
THE PRETTY FRECKLES ON YOUR SHOULDERS
THE PALE TINT OF YOUR SKIN
LIGHTS MY EYES WITH DELIGHT
IF THIS GOES TO PASS
YOU CAN HAVE MY SOUL
AS I AM READY TO DIVE IN
AND SWIM TO YOUR HEART
ID BE LIKE A MOUSE LOOKING FOR CHEESE
ID PASS THROUGH EVERY PART OF YOUR BODY
THROUGH EVERY VAIN
TO FIND YOUR HEART
I WILL FIND IT
JUST WAIT AND SEE
I WILL FIND IT BEFORE ANYONE ELSE
I NEVER TRAINED TO SWIM THIS DISTANCE
I WILL FIND A WAY TO KEEP THIS
CANT YOU SEE?
5/16/10
I SAT ON THE LIGHTHOUSE FOR YEARS NEVER SEEING AN APPROACHING SHIP
AS I SAT WATCHING FOR THE SHIP
I DIDN'T OBSERVE THE STORM BREWING
WHY DID I NEVER REALIZE THIS OBVIOUS COMING
IT WAS YOU ALL ALONG MY DEAR
LET THE RAIN COME INSIDE
OH MY DEAR IT IS HERE
MONDAY, MAY 17, 2010
I HAVE ALL THAT I'VE WANTED HERE WITH ME RIGHT NOW
YOU ARE MY LIFE
MY SUNSHINE
JUST LIKE YOUR FORTUNE COOKIE SAID, YOU HAVE GIVEN ME LIGHT AMIDST THE DARKNESS OF THESE TIMES
I'M HERE TO STAY, I PROMISE I WON'T GO AWAY
OUR LIGHT IS BRIGHTER THAN THE SUN
MONDAY, MAY 24, 2010
TICK TOCK GOES THE CLOCK
ALOFT THE WALK WE TALK
BEHIND THE CURTAIN WE FALL
TO THE GRAVE THAT SEES ALL
TICK TOCK GOES THE SUN
ORBITS HIGH TREE-LINE FOR FUN
BENDING SHADOWS STRETCH FAR
UNTIL ONE IS BUT A STAR
DIM LIGHT FADES
THEN CLAMMERS TO LIFE AGAIN
THE FLUTTERING BUTTERFLY IN THE ROAD
OH IT’S THE WIND AND THE WINGS
NO LIFE LEFT LIT
BURNT TO THE GROUND
IN EMBER SUCH HAS FOUND
STILL WARM TO THE TOUCH
TICK TOCK GOES LIFE
AMIDST THE COVERS
NO HIDING IN THE DARK
WITH FAULTY FLASHLIGHT
TICK TOCK THE CLOCK DOESN'T STOP
FOR ANYONE WILLING TO FLITTER
BUT FLATTER FLOP SEE THE END
HEAVY SHOWERING OF DENSE DARK DIRT FILLS
SOILS THE EARTH
THE CORPSE
BENEATH THE TURMOIL
FEEDS TO LIFE LEFT LIVING
THE SPACE IN BETWEEN
LIVE LIFE WITH VIGOR, BUT UNTIL THEN
GRAB YOUR GIRL, TURN TO THE SKY
NEVER LETTING THESE DAYS PASS YOU BY
MONDAY, JUNE 14, 2010
TIME TO WAKE UP
TIME TO STRETCH
TIME TO DOZE BACK OFF
TIME TO WAKE UP
TIME TO CRAWL OUT
TIME TO WATER DOWN
TIME TO DRY
TIME TO DRESS
TIME TO LAY AROUND
LIKE A BABY IN IT'S NEST
TIME TO FLY
6/16/10
YOUR THIGHS ARE HURTING NOW
WITH NO HINT OF CLIMAX
WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME
WHY CAN'T I JUST CUM ALREADY
I LEAN DOWN TO KISS YOUR LIPS
WHILE ONE HAND SUPPORTS MY WEIGHT
THE OTHER TRIES TO PLEASURE
NEVER THOUGHT IT WOULD BE SO HARD
I CAN'T HURT YOU ANYMORE
WHY DO YOU THINK I STOPPED
CAN'T YOU SEE I CARE ABOUT YOU
ENOUGH TO JUST STOP EVEN THOUGH I'M NOT DONE
YOUR DONE, AND THAT'S ALL THAT MATTERS
THURSDAY, JUNE 17, 2010
WAS STUNG BY A BEE YESTERDAY WHILE MOWING A YARD
FOR ONCE I FELT SOMETHING
I'D MUCH RATHER FEEL SOMETHING THAN NOTHING
IT HURT, BUT FELT GOOD TO FEEL AGAIN.
TUESDAY, JUNE 22, 2010
DAY 47: I NEED AWAY FROM THIS PLACE OF FAMILIARITY
JUST YOU AND ME LEAVING
LEAVING TO A PLACE OF HAPPINESS
A PLACE AWAY
AWAY FROM THIS PLACE
JUST YOU AND ME
I RUN THROUGH THE WALL
RUN THROUGH THE HALL
JUST TO SEE IT AGAIN
I ALWAYS SEE IT AGAIN
THURSDAY, JULY 8, 2010
STRAPPING TIME TO YOUR CHEST
YOU WAIT IN LINE FOR THE REST
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO SKIP A LITTLE
IN ORDER TO SURVIVE YOURSELF
SUNDAY, JULY 11, 2010
I'M TRYING TO CATCH YOU FROM FALLING TOO FAR
IN THE QUICKSAND YOU SINK
WITH YOUR HANDS ABOVE YOUR HEAD REACHING
I'M TRYING TO GRAB AHOLD
REACH JUST A LITTLE MORE
ALMOST THERE, I'LL GET YOU OUT
DON'T WORRY
SOON.
ALWAYS FUCKS WITH MY MIND WHEN I SEE SOMEONE GETTING WITH THE WRONG PEOPLE
CANT HELP BUT WONDER WHY
SOMEONE WE USE TO KNOW
ALWAYS ENDS UP IN THE GUTTER
LOOK AT ME
LOOK AT YOU
HERE I AM
THERE YOU ARE
SOMETHING
NOTHING
OR NOTHING
AND SOMETHING
I HAVE LOST MY WILL OF CHILDISHNESS
HAVEN'T LOST MY WONDER
ONLY WONDER WHY
THIS IS HOW IT IS
TOO MUCH TO KNOW FOR NOW
GUESS I'LL BE WAITING TO SEE
ONE DAY
WILL IT ALL GO AWAY
WILL IT ALL STAY
FOR ONCE
I'M BEGGING THIS
TO SOMETHING
SATURDAY, JULY 17, 2010
CRUMBS SPREAD OUT ON THE FLOOR
CRACKED BITTER HANGING DOOR
WIDE OPEN NOW
THE CHILL SLIPPING IN
MONDAY, JULY 19, 2010
LYING IN BED WITH A MIND FULL OF IMAGES
IMAGES OF EVERYONE I HAVE KNOWN
IMAGES OF PLACES I'VE BEEN
PLACES I WANT TO GO
PEOPLE I WISH TO MEET
THIS THINKING HAS KEPT ME HERE
MY HOPE IS ALIVE
7?/?/10
STEPPING INTO THE LIGHT
WHILE YOU FADE OUT OF SIGHT
FROM REALITY I SEE
WITH A TWIST OF SERENDIPITY
WE ALL HAVE A PART OF THIS RANDOM
CHAOTIC GROUP OF RHYTHM
EATING ITS WAY THROUGH TO FIND THE END
FIND AN END TO THE CONNECTION TO THRIVE
SURVIVE WE MUST
INNOVATION MORE OF
UNTIL WE ADAPT
THEN WE MAKE SOME MORE
UNTIL WE DIE
ON AND ON
TILL THE EARTH AND ALL OF US
BECOME RANDOM PARTICLES SHOOTING
INTO THE VOID
FOR THERE WE WILL COLLABORATE
AND CREATE
UNTIL LIFE CAN THRIVE AGAIN
LIFE NEVER ENDS...
MONDAY, AUGUST 9, 2010
OUR CORNER WE SIT
STARE...INTO SPACE
NEVER LOOKING
FURTHER
DEEPER
WIDER
JUST CLOSE
YES, OUR SPACE WE SEE
THE SPACE OF OURSELVES
GIVING OURSELVES NO SPACE
FROM OURSELVES
THURSDAY, AUGUST 12, 2010
WASH YOU AWAY
FROM THE SMALL CORNERS
OF MY MIND
ALL THAT WAS
IS NOW THEN
SOMETIMES
SOMETIMES
SOMETIMES
SOMETIMES
I CAN'T FOCUS
REMNANTS REMAIN
REMNANTS CONTINUE
REMNANTS REMAIN
REMNANTS CONTINUE
OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER
THESE MEMORIES OF ALL THAT WAS KEEPS HANGING ON TO MY MATTER
I AM TROUBLED
YOUR ARE TROUBLED
WE ARE TROUBLED
GET IN THE SKY
OR JUST LOOK UPSIDE DOWN
UPSIDE COMING ROUND
FEEL THE BLOOD RUSH TO YOUR HEAD
IMPURITIES WASHING AWAY
SHOULD I HANG HERE LONG ENOUGH FOR IT ALL TO GO AWAY
MY LIFE
OR SHOULD I RAISE BACK UP AND JUMP BACK INTO THE SKY
MY SKY IS BLUE, GREY, BLACK, BLUE
BLUE
BLUE
BLUE FOR A WHILE
GREY
GREY
GREY FOR A WHILE
BLACK
BLACK
BLACK FOR A WHILE
BLUE.
WATER.
MIND.
BODY.
NOW I'M CLEAN.
FRIDAY, AUGUST 13, 2010
I WATCHED AN APPLE FALL
STRAIGHT TO THE GROUND
AT DUSK
WHEN THE WIND BLOWS EASY
THE APPLE STOPPED AT THE TOP OF A HILL
POTENTIAL ENERGY
OH HOW FAR IT COULD GO
IF IT FELL JUST AN INCH FURTHER DOWN
I STOPPED WHAT I WAS DOING
POTENTIAL ENERGY
KINETIC ENERGY POTENTIALLY
AND KICKED THE SHIT OUT OF THE APPLE
WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 18, 2010
WHAT DOES IT MEAN
FACING TOWARD THE SKY
PEOPLE SHOUT UP HIGH
AS THE DAYS PASS THEM BY
I AM WATCHING
OUT THE WINDOW
TOWARDS THE SKY
I CAN'T SEE A THING
MY ATTEMPTS WERE BUT A WHIMPER
COMPARED TO THE BANG I WAS GOING TO SHOW
YOU...
BUT YOU HAD TO GIVE UP
SO DID I
SEARCHING...
I GUESS SOMEONE ELSE WILL SEE WHAT KIND OF LIFE I CAN GIVE THEM
THURSDAY, AUGUST 19, 2010
THE DARK MATTER INSIDE OF ME
BENDS THE LIGHT I AM TRYING TO SHINE
TO AN ANGLE
THAT REFLECTS SHIT AND GRIM
I'LL BEND UNTIL IT SHINES TRUE
WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 15, 2010
STAR BRIGHT LIGHT
BLINDING WHAT I THOUGHT
WAS ONCE
WAS I
UNTIL EVERYTHING SEEMS WHITE
SO BRIGHT WILL BE
THE DAY WE SEE
WHAT IT MEANS TO LIVE
ANOTHER WAY...
THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 16, 2010
FURTHERMORE I AM CONCLUDED
I HAVE BEEN HERE ALL THAT TIME REQUIRES OF ME.
IN THE STINT OF MY DARKNESS I HAVE WORKED
IN CONDITIONS UNKIND TO ANY SPIRIT.
I HAVE UNEARTHED MYSELF BY DIGGING UNDER THE THICK CANOPY OF TWINKLING STARS
THAT HAVE GUIDED ME AND GIVEN ME RESPITE
DESPITE SO MUCH FILTH I HAVE BREATHED.
I AM THANKFUL TO HAVE FOUND MYSELF ONCE AGAIN.
TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 21, 2010
EVERYDAY SEEMED LIKE A BALLOON FILLED WITH AIR
FLOATING ITS WAY INTO THE OPEN SKY
THERE WAS A TIME WHEN I WAS A RED BALLOON
DRIFTING TOWARD THE SUN FOR EVERYONE TO SEE
THEN I JUST POPPED AND FELL BACK TO EARTH.
THE MOST OBVIOUS THINGS ARE THE HARDEST TO FIND
THE HARDEST TO FIND IS THE EASIEST TO SEE.
DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS SO FOR ME.
FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 24, 2010
FORM A SPACE
A SPACE TO FORM
OF ONE'S OWN
OUR WORK TO CALL
DRAW FROM THIS SPACE
A SPACE OF ONE'S OWN
IN ALL DIRECTIONS
OUR LIGHT SHINES ABROAD.
SOLITUDE IS CREATIVITY'S ACTIVE CRADLE.
TUESDAY, OCTOBER 12, 2010
BATTLING TIME
TIME TRYING TO MAKE ME
ME MAKE MY TIME
ALWAYS A PRESSURE TO MAKE
WIND WHIPS HARD UPON ME
MY FACE IS BECOMING BURNT
UPON THE SIDE I AM ALWAYS TRYING TO SHOW
MOVE MY FACE TO THE OTHER SIDE
I GO BACK FOR MORE ALWAYS
ADDICTION MAKING ME WANT MORE
MAKING ME MAKE MORE TIME FOR MORE
TIME FOR MORE TIME FOR MORE TIME
THE CYCLE GOES ON
TIME BATTLES
TIME TRAVELS
WITH OR WITHOUT
ALWAYS LEAVING ME BROKEN AND BRUISED
WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 13, 2010
BANG MY HEAD UPON THE ROCK
DRIPPING BLOOD MIXES WITH THE DIRT
BECOMES DRIED UPON THE EARTH
TO LEARN THAT NOTHING STAYS FRESH
JUST LIKE THAT IT ALL DRIED UP.
IT WILL.
TUESDAY, OCTOBER 26, 2010
SINCE WE ARE WHAT?
WHAT ARE WE TO SAY
WHO WE ARE
IF ALL THAT WE ARE
IS WHAT WE ARE
AND THAT IS...
FACE ME WATCHING ME
MY FACE UPRIGHT
FACE THAT BRIGHT NIGHT LIGHT
IN THE SKY
UNTIL I TURN AWAY FROM THAT BIG BRIGHT LIGHT
AND TURN TO YOU
TO SAY
FUCK YOU
HAVE A GOOD NIGHT.
WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 27, 2010
MAYBE ONE DAY
I WILL ONE DAY
HAVE A DAY
LIKE NO OTHER DAY
LIKE MOST DAYS
THE DAY GOES BY
GOES BY AND BY
AND BY AND BY
UNTIL ONE DAY
YOU SEE A DAY
THAT COMPARED TO
NO OTHER DAY
OF YOUR PREVIOUS DAYS
FRIDAY, OCTOBER 29, 2010
ALL THAT WE CAN SEE
CREATES AROUND US
A SENSE OF SECURITY
THE BOUNDARY LINE
OF WHAT SEPARATES
YOU AND ME
IS SOMETHING OF A LINE
THAT HAS BECOME MURKY
BUT ONE THING IS FOR SURE
I KNOW THE TRUTH
AND IT LIES INSIDE
OF WHAT WE CAN SEE
JUST LOOK DEEPER
AND YOU WILL FIND ME
MONDAY, NOVEMBER 8, 2010
MY MIND SOMETIMES
DROPS LIKE A BAT
THAT'S BEEN THROWN TO THE GROUND
ONLY AFTER CONTACT
I STRIKE THE GROUND
SCATTERING DUST AND DIRT
FROM GROUND TO SKY
ENOUGH TO MAKE ME HURT
WHEN I GO TO PICK MYSELF UP
I PULL TOO HARD
AND THROW MYSELF INTO THE SKY
AND SEE EVERYTHING WE CAN'T SEE
AND FALL BACK TO THE GROUND
EACH TIME NEVER HITTING THE GROUND RUNNING
THE FALL IS FAR TOO HARD
AND THE SIGHTS ARE FAR TOO MUCH FOR ME
MAYBE NEXT TIME I CAN LAND ON MY FACE
SO I DO NOT HAVE TO SEE.
SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 13, 2010
IT FLY'S AWAY
TRY ANOTHER WAY
I FEEL IT STOPPING ME
GO ON YOU SAY
LIKE A FLOWER OPENING TO THE SEASON
I USE TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE
BREATHING INTO SOMEONE
ALWAYS FINDING A WAY TO SHARE IT
HOW DID I GET HERE
WHAT DID I DO
WHAT DID I SEE
WHO DID I IMPACT
ALL OF THIS IS BLURRY NOW
I HAVE BECOME SOMETHING I PRAYED I WOULD NOT
MY PRAYER TURNED TO HOPE
MY HOPE TURNED INTO ABANDONMENT
WHAT'S NEXT.
I DON'T KNOW.
MAYBE I'LL TURN TO THE FLOWER AGAIN FOR INSPIRATION
OR MAYBE I'LL GET ON A PLANE
LOOK OUT THE WINDOW
AND JUMP ON A CLOUD
OR MAYBE I'LL JUST SAY MAYBE
WHATEVER HAPPENS
IT WILL ALL HAPPEN FOR A REASON
OR WILL IT.
OR IS IT ALL JUST A MUMBLE JUMBLE OCEAN OF BULLSHIT
TRYING TO SIMPLIFY WHAT WE CAN'T FIGURE OUT
ONLY TO DIE AND BECOME THAT FLOWER THAT OPENS FOR THE SPRING
APRIL IS THE CRULLEST MONTH, BREEDING
LILACS OUT OF THE DEAD LAND, MIXING
MEMORY AND DESIRE, STIRRING
DULL ROOTS WITH SPRING RAIN.
I’VE SEEN TOO MANY OF THESE DAYS FOR FAR TOO LONG.
EVERY FUCKING THING REMINDS ME OF SOMETHING
SOMETHING THAT MEANT NOTHING IN THE END
I’M NOT THAT TYPE, TRUST ME, BUT THERE COMES A POINT
WHERE SOMETHING DRASTIC HAS TO HAPPEN
AND THAT DRASTIC DECISION WILL HAVE TO BE MADE SOON
BEFORE I TURN INTO WHAT I REALLY NEVER WANTED TO BE,
SOMEONE WHO NEVER MAKES A DIFFERENCE.
WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 24, 2010
MARCHING FORWARD
TO THE TIME THAT MEANS NOTHING
NOTHING BY THE WIND
TO THE NORTH WE SEND
WHAT WAS ALREADY DISTANT TO US
IF ONLY IT HAD SOMETHING
FOR US TO GIVE TO OURSELVES
SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 27, 2010
GIVE IT ALL
ALL OF IT AWAY
TO SOMEONE
WHO THROWS IT ALL AWAY
THROW ME INTO THE SUN
AND LET ME BURN
MY ASHES FALL TO THE GROUND
WHERE THERE THEY ARE TRAMPLED
BEATEN FLAT TO THE DIRT
WITH YOUR HANDS
YOU WIPE THE REST OF ME ON YOUR SHIRT
CARRY ME ON THE BOTTOM OF YOUR SHOE
TO SPREAD AROUND THESE ASHES
UNTIL A TREE GROWS
THEN YOU CUT ME DOWN
TO THE GROUND
JUST AS GOOD AS DIRT
EVEN THOUGH I'D THROW YOU INTO THE OCEAN
I'D STILL SWIM OUT TO SAVE YOU.
ALL OF YOU.
MONDAY, NOVEMBER 29, 2010
WHAT IF FOR ONCE EVERYTHING WORKED OUT AS PLANNED.
WHAT IF FOR ONCE WE STOPPED LYING TO OURSELVES.
WHAT IF FOR ONCE WE JUST STOPPED BELIEVING.
WHAT IF FOR ONCE WE JUST RAN AWAY.
WHAT IF FOR ONCE WE JUST SAID FUCK RESPONSIBILITY.
WHAT IF FOR ONCE WE COULD CHANGE
WHAT IF FOR ONCE I STOPPED SAYING WHAT IF FOR ONCE
WHAT IF FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE I...
THURSDAY, DECEMBER 16, 2010
BEYOND WHAT IS US
IS SOMETHING BELOW
BELOW OF EVERYTHING
WE PORTRAY IS US
THAT SEED IN US
THAT MADE US WHO WE REALLY ARE
BEGINS TO GROW
WHEN WE ARE EXPOSED
TO THINGS THAT
WATER OUR SEED
FORTUNATELY FOR US
WE HAVE MULTIPLE SEEDS.
LET ME GROW.
LET ME GO.
LET ME
DO SOMETHING
NO TEACHER TEACHES
NO PREACHER PREACHES
LET ME DO SOMETHING
THAT I THOUGHT
I ONCE COULD NOT DO
UNDER THESE CIRCUMSTANCES.
LET ME BE
ME.
