I don't know exactly what I am getting myself into, but I know that this is what I wanted.  There is just something about myself that wants something that not many people go after.  I go after things that I know make me feel.  I go after things that make me cry.  I go after you and you and you, but still you all never went after me.  That is why I am going to play a game of rummy with my dad, because at least there is a chance of winning there.  With you all, there was just a big fucking hole in the ground waiting for me to step in.  Fortunately I jumped across and now I am going to play a fucking game of rummy.

your still here, isn't that worth celebrating.
should be.
unless
your
dead
you
miserable
fuck
wake
up

I go after....something that becomes nothing.
life is hot, death is cold
simple enough for me.