Being social is something I have often felt pulled into, yet drawn away by it's power.  I say this in a very evocative way.  I am captured by the moment of hearing someone speak to me and me speaking back reflecting and recanting what I have just heard.  Processing information from someone is something I long for because not only does this help me grow, it helps me establish who I am in terms of what I really think and how I really feel towards listening, processing, feedback, and not only that, but how I feel about opening up myself to others.  I can be very fragile, even though I don't seem so.  I normally do not admit my fragile mind, rather I tend to act tough about things.  Sometimes I find myself talking to a lot of people at one time and then come home and feel empty from my thoughts, because everything I just said wasn't what I really wanted to say, it was only something to say because what I need to say is too deep for anyone to listen to or for anyone to care much about.  I sometimes stay quiet or "generic" because of this.  I want to dive deep in conversation with someone, but sometimes I guess it can be hard to get someone to sit down with you and talk about it.  I have found a simple way of getting over this, just by shutting the fuck up and getting down to business and working as hard as I possibly can on projects.  My projects reflect everything I've wanted to say to someone, but because of time or social pressure, did not.  I've got something to say, but no one will hear it because it's all gone into art.  I do not like to be branded as "antisocial" or "stuck-up".  I simply just have too much to say for someone to sit there and listen to me.  Anyways, just a thought I wanted to express, as tonight was very social.