Happiness is something I constantly struggle to achieve.  That struggle that happens is what makes me unhappy I think.  I know where to look to find it, but where I have to look is somewhere that involves hard work to make it there.  People tell me to do with what I have and I understand what that means, but when I want something so bad, I can't just drop that dream and settle.  It's human nature for me to go after what I want.  The idea of settling with what I have and doing with that just seems a bit canned for me in that my head has already been filled filled with so many dreams, I just cannot settle with the rest of the world.  Everyone that I talk to knows me, but has no idea of what I am capable of.  There of course has to be a starting point, but to say that you have to gradually build your way up is a bit narrow.  I understand that in most cases this is true, but I am not working for a corporation, I am working for myself and the general human condition.  I think everyone is just so dead set on how things are supposed to be in America, that they forget that there is a choice.  I know who I am and I know that when I feel something is off according to what I believe in, I stop and really think about what I am doing and then I go from there instead of doing every little thing for a paycheck.  I guess people have to do what they have to do to get by and that is fine, but when you are doing something and don't know why you are doing it, then I think it's time to look in the fucking mirror and figure out who it is you really are and what you want, exactly what you want.