Pondering at the common thought.  is there a god? why do I feel better believing in one? why do I not believe if it makes me feel worse? social pressures, make me feel bad? is my feeling bad just god pushing on my conscience? is it all just a bunch of fairy tale lies? is it real, but society has made it seem stupid? should I believe in a god? would it help me? is a god an actual being, or just something to help us group together chaos in the universe? might god just simply be the spaces we do not yet know? is god just a lingering thing in our minds that help us feel spiritual?

Any of these questions are fucking impossible to answer and when someone I come across does provide me with some insight on how to find these answers, it's always, well just go and read your bible.

The answer I am going to give myself is just one simple answer.  Love.  Maybe that is why believing in a god feels good, because it is love that I feel from that power.  or maybe it is just me feeling something we have made up, but it feels good anyways.  When people say you are feeling god inside empower you, maybe it is just the hype we have been taught and that love is just coming from an idea we are perceiving in a way that connects our feelings to the idea, enough to make us believe.

Either way, I'd prefer not to call god a god, I'd prefer to just believe in the idea of caring and loving people and using my art to express that, because let's face it, it does feel pretty good to be surrounded by something positive.  As much as I like darkness, I have to have a balance of light as well to keep myself mentally strong.  If I am deprived of something for too long, then I begin to hate.  That goes for darkness and light, equally.  If I am around light I can develop hatred.  I don't know why, but all I know is I know myself well enough to know these things.

A life of balance. A life of love. A life of spiritual self-success.