Traveled to the lake yesterday with my dad, grandfather, and brother.  On our way back I sat in the backseat of the SUV and listened to Jane's Addiction.  The particular song was "Then She Did".  As I listened I began thinking of what I wanted to do as an artist, of what I wanted to accomplish and show the world.  Beyond that I remembered how a year ago I was beginning my dream after lollapalooza, where there I had the greatest privilege of seeing Jane's Addiction live before Eric Avery left the band again, respectively.  Half way through the song my mood changed and I began feeling a strange connection to every human being alive.  While I was trying to find meaning in my art, I was realizing that humanity's biggest struggle is finding meaning.  We all search for meaning and what it means to be human and what it means to be doing what we are doing at any point in our life.  While I sit in starbucks trying to figure out Reaktor, I am struck by immediate gratitude for being able to make what I make and have the tools to do it, the job to have the money to buy the equipment and the creativity to make the music from the tools I have at hand.

Also, I have realized that my creativity comes out best when riding in a vehicle, particularly when that vehicle is headed out of town.  I don't have to worry about how my hair looks, what I am wearing, or how I look making my music on my little keyboard.  I am totally relaxed and my mind is free to roam whatever it wants to without worrying about a certain part of my body.  Maybe I need to head out of town more often.  Soon.