blah blah blah...I have to start writing in a more methodical manner, or at least go along with a certain theme instead of ranting about my troubles. I am thinking about doing something very interesting. Maybe create another blog and make up a character and kind of create a life that does not exist but as if it does exist, not sure, but seems really fucking interesting to me to start from a blank canvas like that and just create a life. I guess it is not the same as playing god, but I will do my best, if I decide to take on such a challenge. Of course I am sitting at starbucks once again. Hmm there is a really cute girl that works here, a new one, and she smiled and I smiled, made me feel a little happier knowing a mutual smile can be conjured these days. In these times it is hard to smile out in public. Surfing the web, always seeing something I want, when will I learn to just save, ha I can't. It is in my blood to buy. Well at least I am buying something that will benefit me in the long run, something that will help me with what I want to do in life, which is music. I'd like to be a writer, but I am far from an accomplished writer, but this is why I take up having a blog, to keep me grounded and disciplined in writing. The more I write the better I get and that is a really good thing, because usually I show no signs of making process, most of the time I tend to go in big circles that always leads no where except where I left off. Like coming back to starbucks, except this is a good thing for once. I can be free from conflict at the house. I am a long way from saving enough to move, but I keep in mind everyday that each day I go through making money is closer to where I want to be in like two years. Study and work. Write and play. Finding a balance is difficult these days.