Do you ever just have a day where you wonder why that day feels significantly different, depressingly different.  It all seems to crowd from behind and swallow us with one attack like it was an unexpected outcome.  I am having a day like that.  It feels like I felt one year ago, with the cold weather starting to come in.  I am particularly worried about this winter.  The winter before I went through a little depression, but I have been struggling the whole summer to the present with keeping myself from falling apart.  I am severely burnt out on life right now and am at the point where I do not want to keep trying, but I know I have to keep going.  Between the demands of my online schooling and my home life, I am not happy.  I do not study what I wish to study, and I do not live where I wish to live.  I cannot be content with my life when I have fucking images in my head of something better.  Goddammit it won't go away from me.  What is in my head will not leave me alone until I get to that place.