The last couple of days have been pretty uneventful. In fact, every part of myself is becoming uneventful, every part of what I used to be. I have killed god away, killed relationships away, killed social status away, killed every part of what I once was away. I have stripped myself naked, stripped myself to nothing. Underneath it all is nothingness, why did I never realize this. You see, I have killed away the old, and now I am new and alive. I'm alive to possibility, limitless possibility. Nothing can stop me now, no god will, no relationships will, no social standing will, no fucking being in this world will take me away from myself, because you can't take anything else, I have already done that favor for myself. I have no self-pity, rather I have pity for you, for believing all of the lies. Underneath it all is one big goddamn lie. You don't believe me? truly ask yourself if you believe. Now I am trying not to be pessimistic, because actually I am very optimistic and my art will show that in due time. Less is more and the less I believe, the more I can live without lies, and the more I can embrace my existence. Every religious institution, every relationship, every politician, every government, every social gathering, underneath it all is nothing but sadness. No one is happy anymore, just look around. This is a new age, time to get happy and time to strip yourself of all that you thought was certain, because you know what, nothing is certain. Forming my own mind one step at a time is a challenge, when the tv is on, the radio is playing, the billboards are being displayed, the newspaper shows up at the door step, the air being tainted, the father beating, the mother crying, the child watching, the son stopping, the doctors committing suicide, the ambulance rushing to the scene, the cop arresting, the soldiers bloody battered and worn, the meth lab blowing, the rent not showing, the money being taken, the fuckers across the street, the bitch next door, the cheater on the hill, the asshole shoving his dick down her throat, the moth fluttering in the road dead, the blood on my lip, the statue falling, the hills tumbling, the ground shaking, the cars smashing, the explosions waking. All of this consuming. Just when I thought it was all gone, I looked somewhere I never looked before. With tears on the floor, I look up and see


someone

reaching

grabbing

pulling

holding

closer

closer

closer

no space in between now




If only it could be that way...nothing is certain, nothing ever can be, maybe something exists, maybe it doesn't. I'm still hanging in there, but I'm not waiting anymore. I believe it's about time for someone to do something, might as well be me. I am nothing for now, at the bottom I look up. I am looking still, trying to notice if the light is getting wider. It fades and grows. That is life, until the end.

Keep going my friend.
Time will see better.