Just you and me

to find us back to be

If I could start again I would keep myself

I will find a way

Sometimes I have to look inside and make sure I'm still here and still me.

ahhhhhhhhh I see now

I always knew I had everything backwards, but now I must flip that all around

I don't quite know what to say anymore, thinking and creating is all I have left...my voice is obsolete so I am left with a mindful of thoughts...time to begin what the world needs

Turn the corner
I see you there
Not another fake
No your the real thing

I sit in the back while you drive
Drive us somewhere but who knows where
I only know it doesn't matter
As long as you are there

I cant help but notice
The pretty freckles on your shoulders
The pale tint of your skin
Lights my eyes with delight

If this goes to pass
You can have my soul
As I am ready to dive in
And swim to your heart

Id be like a mouse looking for cheese
Id pass through every part of your body
Through every vain
To find your heart

I will find it
Just wait and see
I will find it before anyone else
I never trained to swim this distance
I will find a way to keep this
Cant you see?

But my want might not be possible this time

All I want is you

I think this deserves a repost:

Beside the cactus I wait, like a rose waiting for water,
only the rain has yet to come in my barren state.
I'm parched with emptiness,
Hoping tomorrow will bring plentiful rains.

I wait for the sun to rise again,
taking for granted I will live another day.
I plan my schedule weeks in advance,
Don't I have enough for a day to handle?

I have seen the water before slide down the rose petals.
Why can't I be like the rose, beautifully waiting,
drinking humbly, leaving the rest for the ground?
Why is it when I imitate the rose, I fail?

God puts us here to fulfill his plan,
He gives us the tools we need to accomplish it
What, then I ask, is the rose's purpose;
does it not have a plan like the rest of us?

Sitting on a sidewalk, I picked up a rose.
It was parched, so I gave it water
I handed it to a lady, does the rose have a purpose now?
New life begins by opening the cactus and drinking its life
Spring is here again!

Seems like I write more when I have shit happening to me...just on a break from mowing yards and thinking about where I'm going past this...the truth is I'm done with my life in this city...as long as I'm here I know people and they know everyone else...seems like everything I do, there is always a connection somehow to a past event...it's time to make a new event in a different place without past events being dug up...money, time, patience

and a whole lot of fucking things up

The description of life is simple:

Funny

Confusing

Happy

Sad

Fucked up at times

There are 2 options in life:

Make it simple

Make it complicated

Sometimes I'm not sure which one I want, all I know is I'm still here with the same body and mind with a purpose, and that purpose never changes for me...I always seem to come full circle...Sometimes I wonder if I'm going to change the world or if the world will change me...I must become something.

Decision...

This pain is real, atleast something is real

and you my dear are real

If I could then I would...take back 2 months of my life in exchange for a life I could have had, might still have...I want you more than anything in this world...If I could just start again, I wouldn't waste one second of being with you. It hurts, always has for me, there's still hope, but the thought of not getting you kills a part of me.

The past 3 day of my life were the slowest I have recalled in years. I have found the secret to traveling finally…no agenda? Seems like having no agenda would produce a bad outcome, maybe so, but the adventuring is more abundant. With a new experience behind me, and more to come, I am left wondering a couple things. First I have gained confidence in moving out to LA, which is my goal, especially with all that I have to bring forth to an audience. Second I realize the chaos of this life and how amazing and beautiful wonder can be. We drove first to Charlotte NC, not realizing that the theme park we were supposed to go to would be closed for the week. When we realized this we headed 5 hours away to the beach, Carolina Beach to be exact. I went with 2 people I didn’t know very well but after the trip I feel as if I have known them forever, which is awesome. The girl on the trip is Knicky, which I found her first name is Andrea. It’s funny how secret a crush can be especially unnoticeable when you hide it well, although I’m not sure if it was well hidden. I’m not sure if she realizes this and don’t know if someone will read this, but if you read this Knicky, know that it’s difficult for me to tell you how I feel because I don’t want you to not feel that way and then me tell you and ruin a friendship by awkwardness, so I am very scared this will be the case and I have developed a strong liking for you. I am very cautious because if we just stay friends I don’t want to want something you don’t because that will crush me, so I hope so much that you feel the same for me. I can’t just come out and ask because I feel stupid like you would say you don’t feel the same and that would hurt really bad, but for now I’m hoping you read this. I hate not being able to say exactly what’s on my mind at times, but for the past 3 days, if I would have spoken my mind, you would have realized how amazing I think you are and how beautiful you are to me. I don’t want you to think I am a sarcastic idiot, cause I was only just excited, but at heart I am a deeply loving human being that only wants to give you the world as your playground and let me play with you on it. I have wanted to find someone like you for a long time, and now that I have found someone, I don’t quite know how to handle my feelings or if they will even be mutual. I’m always hoping, I hope this time my hopes come true and stay for good. A change would be nice just as an environmental change was amazing for the past 3 days. Please make my hopes come true, I’ve been patient and don’t know how long I must suffer. You created something in me that won’t go away, I hope I have created the same for you.