Kinda tired of everything, but I also realize that it will be ok, battered, torn, confused, I am nothing now, but I will be something when my time comes

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Fucking scary as a child

Strapping time to your chest
You wait in line for the rest
Sometimes you have to skip a little
In order to survive yourself

I miss you so so so so much and would give anything for you to feel better

I've gotta try something new in my life, us both. Wallowing around seems to be what we do best, but all of that will be over soon. Time to get our lives on track and be all that we can be, so we can make each other happy. This will get better, I promise.

Ever get that feeling like you know something is wrong with your life, that you have no idea what you have done or are doing. Kinda like the day starts over on the same day, it's that repetitive. I don't like knowing I'm going in circles, and I don't like thinking that I am stuck here for a while, and I don't like knowing my job fucking blows, but it's the only thing that will help me, cash wise. The only thing I have to look forward to, for a while, is seeing you every night, but even I know that will not be all the time. I am beginning to get sucked up in myself again and that is a bad thing, self pity. Oh fuck, I need a vacation seriously, I mean listen to me, I sound like a spun around washed up junkie that has quit, that's not me, I never quit, but I'm just tired of sitting around repeating the same routine. If I could pick out my dream life right now, this would be it...

Living in LA

Near a beach

With musical material

Piano

Her

Cat

Computer

Money

Job

Time to write a book

Ocean

Camera

Car

Her

Her

Her...

Dammit

I remember it quite well...the odor of pot high in the air, thick as fog, the women all passed out around your ankles, the occasional mosh pit or two hits you. Ahhh what a night that was. Seeing Perry Farrell standing beside me and watching Tool perform at the same time had me wondering how the fuck I got in that spot at that moment in time, with those very people. I am the only one that remembers probably.