I am in it.  Something from nothing is what I'm getting, however it starts all over each rolling morning.  To think your on top of things and then you wake back up like it never happened.  That's my current dream I'm in called life.  It sucks your soul like one million surrounding feeding mosquitoes fresh from moist puddled air. You swat until you give in and watch the blood being extracted like a scam artist extracting money from your peeling eyes attached like a clingy girlfriend to the TV while you watch "America" determine who's got the talent, the talent to make you believe.  You believe, I believe, we all believe.  Just keep swimming.  Eventually you'll get to the other side and then when you're all out of breathe and climbing ashore you will be greeted by men in suits saying "right this way peasant".  Taking control seems easy until you jerk the wheel out of someone's hand and wreck both lives.  To take control is to be patient.  To know when to move.  To know when to give in.  To know when to let go.  To know when to ease your way into the drivers seat.  Some things require more balls than others, but most of the time it seems like the best thing to do is set yourself up for success and have ultimate control of your destination by observing, processing, and planning.  We are taught to get what we want when we want it, you know, "grab life by the balls".  That is good but grabbing life by the balls officially is step Z.  "A" through "Y" are observational circumstances, processing circumstances, and planning situations.  To even be able to sustain your new found control, those things have got to be present.  I want it bad, just like you, but keep in mind, this comes at a price.  Getting things quick and easy might seem daring, but to sustain yourself in a position of authority, building your character, like building a house has to come first.  You don't throw a house up and say finished.  You plan, you work, you learn, you fail, you learn, you fail, you fail more, you apply, you connect the dots, you get better, your work gets better, it all gets better.  Keep going, I promise you won't regret it.  Feelings come and go, and hard work, hard gritty work, stays.

A flower had grown 

grown inside from outside 

from outside I grew something inside

something inside me grew 

inside me grew something 

something from the outside

from the outside my inside grew cold

grew cold from the outside of you

the outside of you looks through

looks through to the inside of me

the inside of me comes 

comes from the inside of you

dark and cold my inside is you

inside you comes from the outside 

from the outside of you 

outside of you is everything

everything but you.

I have become everything but me.

from you.

or maybe just me.

from me

just me

I'm beginning to think my rose was all thorns

all thorns in the shape of a crown.