Yesterday I decided to go with my mother to run her errands.  I sat in the backseat looking out the window just thinking.  I like rides like these where I can just look out the window at the world in a place where I can be safe on the inside.  After about an hour we returned to our street and our driveway is of incline to the point you have to hold yourself tight so you don't get flung to the side of the car.  I was listening to a film score from Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross titled "almost home".  The whole time I tapped my finger to the song on my iPod and could really feel the song's rhythm and meaning.  When we approached the front of the house and my mother aimed the car towards the incline, I braced myself for keeping the beat.  We hit the beginning of the incline and it jared me but I kept rhythm through intense concentration.  I was almost home but was jared a little.  I felt like this applied to my life and what I have been through so far.  I lost the rhythm of myself for a while and now that I am almost home with myself, I have to be careful not to let my rhythm go.  Or should I? Should I stop the rhythms and lose myself and become something else entirely?  Or should I keep myself and all that I mean... or does any of this really matter?

I want to live...I want to breathe, I want to see things and I want to see things with you.  I want the rhythm of myself to be something that means something to someone and to myself.  Maybe we should all stop our routine rhythms and start over for ourselves.  In a world that means nothing anymore, we have nothing to lose.

I am tired of misfortunes while trying to create fortunes.

It is warm today, I'm out and about, with a freshly washed/cleaned car.  Fuck it feels good.  All of the troubles that I seem to be dealing with are just set aside for the day because it's way too nice out to complain.  There is only one problem, I want you here with me.  I had nothing, but now I have something and that something is unreachable at the moment.  I would cross the seas right now if I could and there is nothing holding me back really but we must play this smart.  Today is just one of those days where you feel like the earth has just rolled over and everything is better.  If only the earth would roll you over to my end of the hemisphere.  Oh what have we got ourselves into you and I, it's only torture.  This torture will not last too long though my dear, let's just wait it out.

An opportunity to be happy...