For most of a man’s ordinary life, time seems to suggest no urgency in finding a way to make change happen, or progression to stir itself around in a whirlwind of hope and happiness.  Sometimes for a human being to discover truth in an unrealized matter, a change of thinking must occur first in order for action to occur in life.  I was driving down the road on an autumn day and discovered, upon arriving at a wobbling stop sign, a pile of leaves being stirred up.  I watched for a few moments as the wind began to pick up these leaves with such vigor as this invisible force was made known to the world through the appearance of a whirlwind of tortured dead leaves that had already been through the cycle of life and had fallen to the ground to decompose into the earth.  These dead leaves were brought back to life by an outer circumstance that shaped the response of what was once inside.  As with any other special experience, it leaves one realizing they were dead, but now alive.  

It's been a while since I've posted anything, in part due to so much that's been going on and preparing itself for the future.  Often times I find myself becoming trapped inside myself, not letting anything come out, or not letting my art prosper in it's rightful place, and that's where my loneliness sets in.  If my art is dead to others, I am dead.  That's where I have been, dead.  As I sit here in Java J's downtown Bristol, Va listening to a guy by the name of Anthony Wayne play his heart out, I am realizing again how much I have inside, and I need to let it all spill out in someone's heart, not just mine.  I love moments when all I can do is cry.  Sometimes I am so dead and want to feel alive, I look at something and make myself cry, just because it is there and it exists for a reason.  The very insignificant thing I am looking at has potential and it makes me cry that I am sitting back as a human being not doing anything to make a difference, and I look at this object as if it can do something, but even it can't.  I guess that's why I cry, because what I see can never feel, if only I knew why then I would do anything to help.  As a young man motivated by his emotions, I stand to say that moments when I cry are the most cleansing experiences to me.  When I cry I feel alive again.  Feeling alive is my ultimate goal, not just for myself but I want others to feel alive for the sake of living and helping others live.  That's where I have been, dead.  I feel more alive, that's where I'm going.  See you there